Stick a fork in the Pistons

First off, before I say anything else about the ECF, let me credit he Celtics for beating the Pistons 4 games to 2. They played well in crunch time, and deserved to win. They're a damn good team. With that out of the way...

I know you should never blog mad. You tend to say extreme things, have emotional knee-jerk reactions. But the Pistons, as usual, have pissed me the fuck off. Another season of promise ending in the east finals.

With this Pistons team, I never know from night to night which team will show up. Will be the night they decide to flip the switch? Will they show up in the 3rd quarter? The 4th? At all?

To be honest, the Detroit Pistons are a tiring team to root for. I'm tired of their hubris. The taking games off. The false bravado. The tough talk, but NEVER backing it up. (Think about it, the only season they backed up the talk was the title season) If I never hear "If it ain't rough, it ain't right" again, it'll still be too God damn soon.

The Pistons as we've known them? They're done as title contender. Blow the core up. At the very least, Joe Dumars cannot come back in '08-'09 with this same roster. Something needs to change. Right now, they are the Atlanta Braves of the NBA. And that's NOT a compliment.

For all of the talk of their being a team that claims they've "been there before," and "play best with their backs against the wall," they disappeared quicker than WMD's did in Iraq in the 4th quarter of game 6. After the Pistons took a 70-60 lead, a the Celtics outscored the Pistons 29-11. That's clutch play? That's being at your best when everything is against you?

Chauncey Billups and Rip Hamilton were the only two of the core who truly showed up. Period. It says VOLUMES your best players were also your most banged up. The backcourt was gutty as Hell, considering their injuries. Unfortunately, the front line was nowhere to be found.

Why did the Pistons lose? Rasheed Wallace had more fouls than points. 4 points in the biggest game of the season? When the team needed you to come up big? Wallace couldn't have come up any smaller, 2-12 says it all. Tayshaun Prince was 0 for the 1st half, 3-10 overall and committed a game changing turnover late in the 4th. Overall, Prince had an awful series, and Wallace's biggest impact was in pissing off the refs. Most of the blame should fall on them.

Antonio McDyess was...Well, he was just sort of there. 3 shots? 6 points? It's as if he used up every drop he had in his monster game 4, and had nothing left to give. The young players were OK. Jason Maxiell brought a spark, and Rodney Stuckey looked good at times, and other times played like the rookie he is. But this wasn't their game to win. It was the core's and they came up woefully short.

As for Flip Saunders? I'm not sure what to make of his status. If the Pistons feel the need to bring this same core team back, I don't know how Flip can return as well. My best guess? Saunders is toast.

Though I will say this in Flip's defense. The Pistons core group are coach killers.

The core didn't get along with Rick Carlyle. Larry Brown had the personality to handle them, but never unpacked his suitcases. Saunders doesn't get any respect from the core. That's 3 different coaching styles, 3 short timers, 3 years max (Assuming Flip gets the ziggy).

Who on earth is capable of coaching this group? The more important question is, who would WANT to?

I know I said this back in the Philly series, but it's even more true tonight. I hate rooting for the Pistons. They are a team that frustrates me to the point of distraction. That pisses me off to no end. Who have an personality that exudes a combination of unearned entitlement and undeserved cockiness. Not exactly a likable combination...

The Pistons are what they are. What they aren't, is good enough.

Is Nate Robertson soon to be on the block?

Jayson Stark claims in his latest "Rumblings and grumblings" column the Tigers are telling teams "they might have a left-hander available in a few weeks." As Stark notes, the available left hander sure wouldn't be Kenny Rogers or Dontrelle Willis. The Gambler won't be traded for obvious reasons (age, only on a 1 year deal, would likely retire if dealt), and the D-Train's control issues, let alone his expensive multi-year contract, make him essentially untradable.

Thus, if you do the math, Nate Robertson is the unnamed left hander on the trading block. Why would the Tigers think about trading someone they signed to a multi-year contract just this past off season? There could be a few reasons...

1. The Tigers believe Armando Galarraga is the real deal.

To me me, this seems like a big jump to make, as Galarraga has never been this good. Do you believe the small sample size of 8 2008 starts, or his past track record of mediocrity? To trade one of your starters because Galarraga is on a hot streak is short sighted lunacy.

2. Dontrelle Willis is ready to rejoin the roation.

Nah, I don't believe that either. But Willis to the rotation is going to happen sometime soon. Having $9 million a season mop up man isn't exactly fiscally responsible, or what the Tigers expected to get out of Willis.

If the D-Train does come back to the rotation, someone has to be removed. If still pitching well, it won't be Galarraga. Obviously, it won't be Justin Verlander or Jeremy Bonderman. The Gambler is pitching better than Robertson. Nate could be, and should be, the odd man out.

3. Robertson is the Tigers most tradable pitching commodity.

This is the most likely reason. Consider the following facts: Robertson is left handed, locked into a relatively affordable 3 year, $21million contract, is capable of winning in double digits, is rarely injured and should give your team around 200 innings. That sounds like a fairly marketable pitcher to me in today's starting pitching starved MLB.

But what could a 4 or 5 rotation guy, an average (at best) starting pitcher like Robertson return on the open market? It depends on how desperate teams are at the deadline. Thing is, I'd assume the return would be prospects. With their payroll, should the Tigers be trading capable major league players for prospects?

My thinking is the Tigers would have to be much farther out of 1st place than their current 8 games to be sellers at the trade deadline. After decidedly going all in payroll-wise, saying the time to win is NOW, to suddenly be sellers rather than buyers, the Tigers would be giving up on the season.

With a $138 million payroll, it would be the ultimate admission of failure.

Pens win, Wings regroup, a loss is not a big deal

If there was a game the Wings were going to lose, the 1st game back in Pittsburgh was it. Crosby had a great game, his best of the series so far, and led his team to a win, 3-2. The Pens were a DESPERATE team playing a must win game, and played like it. Kudos to them.

All I can say about the Red Wings loss is it took the Penguins best performance to beat a Wings team that didn't play anywhere near it's best. Especially in the 1st, and for much of the 2nd, periods. The Red Wings dominated the 3rd, and made one Hell of a game out of it. It was a marvelous to watch 3rd period, so at least NBC, the CBC, and the rest of North America will be happy.

On he plus side, a loss will give Mike Babcock a chance to shake up the lineup a little. I'm NOT comfortable with Lilja in the lineup. Never have been, never will be. I want to see Chelios play Saturday night.

The bigger concern than the loss is the health of Holmstrom. Jesus, Homer takes abuse in front of the net. His helmet was off half the time, thanks to the Pens cross checking him across the skull at every opportunity. Of course, it's NEVER called. Good thing there's 3 days off.

I really think the Wings come out flying inn game 4, and have the Pens back on their heels the entire night. They'll bring the kitchen sink, and then some.

One more thought... Just expect the next 3 days to be nothing but CROSBY!!! mania. (Well, as much mania as the NHL can create in a nation where 2/3 of the population could give a shit) So be it...

There's another reason I'm not all that upset about the loss. I wasn't going to be able to watch Saturday's game all that closely, as I'll be a benefit for my best friend's brother. He was nearly killed in a snowmobiling accident a few months back, and though he's doing much much better, the medical bills are piling up.

There are priorities, and and a Stanley Cup game takes a back seat to friendship. Even if that game may have been the clincher. It's all moot now anyway.

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: Panic in Detroit edition

The Tigers are another losing streak, have just lost a pair of gut punch games and are still in last place. Sounds like a good time for a round of burning questions...

We've been witness to 2 consecutive walk off losses for the Tigers, dropping them to 10 games under .500. The last few nights sure sucked, haven't they?

It's the worst I've felt about the Tigers since their pitchers were throwing the ball all over the good earth in the 2006 World Series. But at least that implosion was happening in the WORLD SERIES. Those heady days sure feel as if it's been longer than only a season and a half ago.

I know I've asked this before, but it's worth asking again. Is there anything the Tigers can do?

Not a damn thing. This is our Detroit Tigers, an older team saddled with mostly untradable long-term contracts, for better or for worse. We've seen little in the way of better, and as bad as the season has gone, I doubt we've seen the worst.

Worse than this?

Let's not forget the Tigers are on the first leg of a 3 city, 9 game road trip. The Angels and A's are good teams, and the M's are as bad as the Tigers, but will be at home. The Tigers' season could essentially be over in a little more than 10 days.

A bad road trip, and it's off to an awful start, would crush the Tigers' chances. The only reason they aren't already 10+ games back in the Central is only in thanks to the utter mediocrity of the division.

7.5 games back isn't season ending, but if something doesn't turn around soon...God forbid someone in the Central gets hot...Well, I'd rather not think about it.

Why can't the Tigers make a few trades, unload a couple of older players?

Who would you suggest trading? Gary Sheffield? Always injured and still owed $14 million for next season does not make for an attractive trade target.

Edgar Renteria? First off, the Tigers would never give up on Renteria 50 games into the season. Not going to happen. But for the sake of argument, do you seriously want to play Ramon Santiago every day? If he and Brandon Inge end up as the left side of the infield, it'll be the 1960's all over again. Remember .200 hitting 3B Don Wert and .135 hitting SS Ray Olyer? In 2008, you just can't carry a pair of good field-no hit players as your starters for an entire season. Inge and (I know he's hitting .353, but Santiago is a career .235 hitter) Santiago are excellent defensively, but couldn't hit Paris Hilton's weight.

Brandon Inge? .220 hitters with a superiority complex and owed $19 million aren't much in demand.

Magglio Ordonez? He's the most tradable commodity, but he's also the Tigers best offensive player. Think the offense is struggling now? Think of it without your number 4 hitter. Gives you the willies...

Ok, I get it. Trades are out of the question. So what can the Tigers do?

It's not difficult to figure out. Jim Leyland can only keep penciling in those under performing players in the lineup every day, and hope a roster full of athletes with excellent offensive track records finally start producing. It's not what people want to hear, but it's the truth.

But I can't handle the truth!

Get used to it. This is our Detroit Tigers, the good, the bad, and the ugly. (My apologies to Sergio Leone...)

There's a rising cry for the Tigers to fire someone, anyone. Fans want a head on a platter. Even the once untouchable Jim Leyland is under fire. Anybody going to get the ziggy?

Nope. Ilitch has the utmost trust in Dave Dombrowski. Dombrowki loves Jim Leyland, having been to a pair of World Series' together. Leyland is uber-loyal to his coaches. Who's going to fire who? No one is in jeopardy. Not yet, anyway.

I'd bet on Leyland walking at the end of the season first, rather than anyone being canned. But that's a long ways off, and it's possible the season could still turn around. Seriously, it could happen!

In other news, Jeff Larish was called up to take Sheffield's place on the roster. Will he help?

He's a 25 year old left hand hitting 1st baseman who hits for power, and had put together a nice season in Toledo. It's time to see if he's ready. for that matter, the Tigers need a left handed bat, even if it's another 1B/DH type. If anything else, as I doubt he has a long-term future in Detroit, Larish can be showcased around the league. The Tigers may be able to trade him for help at another position of need.

Why doesn't Larish have a future in the the D?

1st base is taken for the next 8 seasons by a certain player who is making $150 million. The Tigers already have a pair of DH's in waiting, namely Guillen and Ordonez. (Let alone the fact Sheffield is still under contract.) Unless Larish can play corner outfield, or 3rd base, he has no position in Detroit. Larish's value to the Tigers is as trade bait.

Why not call up Mike Hessman? He leads the International League in HRs' and RBI. Plus he plays 1B and 3B, giving the Tigers more flexibility. Wouldn't he bring more to the team than Larish?

Larish has upside, that nebulous thing called "potential," while we already know what Hessman brings. The occasional home run, and not much else. Hessman is what he is, and that's a 30 year old 4A depth player. He's not a long term solution of any kind, and has little value in trade. The Tigers are better off with the much higher upside of Larish.

All this doom and gloom! Is there any good news?

Only if you are a fan of the Red Wings and/or Pistons. They are playing great! It's very possible Detroit will have champions in both the NBA and NHL.

God help the Tigers when the playoff runs end, as the entire focus will finally be upon them. Fans aren't going to be happy with what they see.

Denial is a river running through Pittsburgh

In some sadly deluded circles, a goalie diving (Yes, Osgood did embellish being hit. In fact, Pens fans seem to be forgetting ALL goalies flop like dying fish) is much more despicable act than sucker punching a player recovering from a concussion in the head...twice.

I'm guessing Pens fans would also believe the following...

Sidney Crosby saying the Penguins had more quality scoring chances than the Wings.

This was NOT a quality scoring opportunity in Crosby's world...

It's Crosby's God given right to win the Stanley Cup, as Bettman deems it in the NHL's best interest.

That Bettman actually has a clue.

Michel Therrien claiming the biggest reason his team isn't scoring is due to the Wings getting away with obstruction.

The east plays a better brand of hockey than the west.

Don Cherry is to be taken seriously, and he's not a clueless xenophobe who would rather brown nose Crosby than ever deign to praise one of the Wings' Europeans.

Cheap shot goonery is an appropriate response to being dominated in every single phase of the game. Then again, when nothing else seems to be working, what's a few sucker punches amongst friends?

That Gary Roberts can still play, rather than being a washed up thug.

That the following doesn't describe Wings-Pens. Those can can, do. Those that can't, whine about officiating/diving/obstruction.

That Warner Brothers didn't predict the outcome of this series 58 years ago in a Bugs Bunny cartoon called "8 Ball Bunny." Go 2:30 in for the sooth saying hobo...

"Penguins is practically chickens. And I hates to see chickens cry so much, that I has to put them out of their misery."

2nd verse same as the 1st: Red Wings dominate the Penguins

A few quick thoughts on the Red Wings taking down the wannabe Broad Street Bullies 3-0...

I love to watch the Red Wings when their game is firing on all cylinders. In the Stanley Cup finals, the Wings have been a silky smooth, high horsepower V-12, with no rev limiter. In comparison, the Penguins are a backfiring 4 cylinder out of a rusty '75 Pinto. No matter what you do to the 4 cylinder, it won't be enough to compete.

I don't get a chance to watch teams from the east play, thanks to the utter and complete incompetence and stupidity of the NHL. But is this the best the eastern conference has to offer? The Red Wings had a much tougher time playing west rivals Dallas and Nashville. (Though beating the Nordalanche was the equivalent of flicking fly off of their shoulders.) I was expecting better from the Penguins. Instead we get a goon squad.

Watching the Pens goon it up in the final minutes was disgusting. Even more so was the cheap shots taken at the head of Johan Franzen. The Mule is coming off of a well publicized concussion (or at least "concussion-like symptoms"), and the Pens are blatantly taking shots at his head? Stay classy, Pittsburgh. Asses.

On the NHL Network post game, professional douchebag Gary Roberts claimed there was no "intent" in his punching Franzen in the head, and he actually hit him with "my shoulder." Huh? I had no idea a shoulder could have 4 fingers and a thumb, clinched in a fist. If you aren't going to claim responsibility, at least come up with something more creative and believable.

It's not the first time I've seen teams lose their proverbial shit when playing the Red Wings. It has to be frustrating as all Hell to be so thoroughly dominated. And without question, the Penguins have been dominated.

What more can you really say about the first 2 games? The Red Wings have dominated play at both ends of the ice, and made Gary Bettman's golden boy, Sidney Crosby, irrelevant.

For all the talk a Pens-Wings series was going to be the NHL's dream matchup, it's quickly become a nightmare for Pittsburgh.

Who is more important? Fans or rights holders?

I wasn't able to watch Saturday's dueling playoff games as closely as I would have liked, as I was in a local hole-in-the-wall biker bar that had my best friend's daughter's fiance's band playing. (Yes, my tiny home town has a watering hole you could consider a biker bar)

The band was good, the beer cold and no one was wearing colors (Save for me in my road Shanny sweater and my bud in his home Yzerman one), but the TV reception and my viewing angle left something to be desired. Actually...it left everything to be desired. I could only kinda-sorta follow what was going on in the games, but the action was often just a rumor.

When I got home, I was able to fast forward to the pertinent parts of the Red Wings victory, while the Pistons recording wasn't worth the hard drive space it was recorded upon. No reason to closely watch something I saw coming, and would end up pissing me off. You know, because that's how the Pistons roll...

Tonight will be a different story, as I'll be home, trying to watch 2 games at once. We have the twits running the NBA and NHL, and their asinine scheduling policies, to thank. So thanks a lot Gary and David! You're asses of the highest order.

The excuse the leagues give for the fucked up scheduling that bends over Detroit sports fans is they have to answer to their "rights holders." TV networks, advertisers, large corporations, the usual culprits.

But when was the last time dipshits like Bettman and Stern answered to those who have made them, and their leagues, and for that matter, their rights holders, insanely rich? I'm talking about us, the fans.

Seriously. Think about it. When was the last time a big league sport actually catered to the fan? We've had more than our share of local examples...

The Lions raise ticket prices during a recession, and tell a season ticket holder to fuck off in an email. I've think we've seen the last of Ford Field's sellout streak. There's going to be games where the opposition will have more fans in attendance. NFL or not, Lions fans are fed up of having their wallets emptied, and getting nothing but grief in return.

The Red Wings apologize to their fans after shutting down for a season, and cutting their payroll by more than half, by issuing season ticket holders insulting "Joe Bucks." In other words, a coupon book good towards overpriced beer and food. The Wings have been much like the Lions when it comes to milking their fan dry. They never lowered their ticket prices, or went out of their way to do anything for a devoted, and gradually going broke, fanbase. They are still suffering from a fan backlash, even in during this year's Stanley Cup run.

Baseball is still more affordable than most sports, but it's become less so by the year. The Tigers have also been guilty of milking the fans dry, constantly raising ticket prices. To their credit, they are spending that extra cash on players. Being quite spendy hasn't helped in the win column, but that's for another post...

But you get my point. The fans are treated as a monetary asset to be drained. Nothing more.

Same goes for the leagues themselves. It's not about what's good for the fans, it's all about what's best for the rights holders.

Stupid late start times for playoff games. I love the fact World Series games end at 1 am.

Even stupider scheduling policies, from the NBA/NHL cluster we've had in Detroit the past few days, to taking 2 1/2 weeks to play a NBA 1st round series.

Sports franchises will blackmail communities, threatening to leave town if they don't get a new arena/stadium, even if their current facility isn't out of date. When a community has the balls to call team owners on it, such as Seattle...Well, it's goodbye Sonics. There's always some flea bit minor league town willing to be screwed over just to get a big league team. I'm looking at you, Oklahoma City.

Playoff ticket prices so high, anyone not born to old money has to take out a second mortgage to afford tickets.

TV rights fees designed to hit fans square in the wallet. The exclusivity of NFL's Sunday Ticket, ensuring only DirecTv subscribers can buy the package. MLB's attempt to do the same last year. The NHL going for the quick money in signing with Versus, a network many fans can't even find on their cable systems. The NBA placing early round playoff games on the NBA TV, a channel .01% of the nation can get. Ditto for the NFL, and their placing games on the unobtainable NFL Network.

Thing is, as sports fans, we get knocked around and keep coming back for more. I'm just as guilty as the next guy. I'll bitch and moan, but I'll still be watching tonight. (And damn near every night...)

I guess what I'm trying to say to the leagues is don't lie to us. When you make a decision, don't say it's "For the fans." Please tell us the truth, which is often something like, "Because the rights holders demanded it," "Because we could make even more money" or "Being richer than God isn't enough."

If sports ever was about the fans, it sure as Hell isn't anymore.

3 quick thoughts on the Pistsons

1. When the Pistons beat the Celtics, a team I despise as much, if not more so, as the University of Ohio State (God, I love Terrelle Pryor for that) and the Colorado Avalanche, all is right in the world. When the Pistons beat the Celtics in the playoffs, in whatever they call the new Boston Gah-den, all is even better in the world.

You have to admit, last night's Pistons win was once of their more entertaining playoff games in ages, especially for an Eastern conference matchup. Even as Pistons fans, we've suffered through some extremely painful to watch playoff games. You know, the sort that turned the rest of NBA fandom against the Pistons and Spurs, those first team to 70 wins defensive slugfests.

For the Pistons to win in the playoffs scoring more than 100 points, and Boston scoring more than 95, yet it still be considered a good defensive performance...well, when was the last time that happened?

I think we're in for some very entertaining hoops this holiday weekend...

2. I blasted the Pistons back in June '07 for taking Rodney Stuckey in the draft. My headline says it all.

Rodney Stuckey? His name may just as well be Rodney White...

Uh, Al....what in the HELL were you thinking?

I think I was blinded by a couple of things. I bought into the "small school player can't compete right away" stereotype. I also had been quite unhappy with Joe Dumars' recent history in draft picks. (I don't need to list them, well all know which guys were MASSIVE busts) Call it a my knee-jerk reaction to the pre-draft comparisons of Stuckey to Dwayne Wade.

Then, the next day, being your typical sports blogger, I beat a dead horse into the ground by bitching out the Pistons for drafting a pair of 1st round guards. (Don't forget, Arron Affalo was picked late in the 1st)

Good thing Joe D doesn't listen to me, as Stuckey has been as impressive as all get out for the Pistons. (Affalo has been a solid contributor this season as well, though not in the playoffs due to the shortened bench)

Stuckey has saved Flip Saunders' bacon since Chauncey Billups strained his hammy against Orlando. Last night was his best playoff performance yet, highlighted by his 4th quarter double clutching layup over the Celtics' Glen Davis. Basically, last night was Stuckey's coming out party to the rest of the nation.

I'm now feeling much better about the Pistons future. With emergence of Stuckey (along with Affalo, Jason Maxiell and Amir Johnson), Dumars has options. No matter how this playoff run lasts, you still have to wonder just how long Joe D will keep this group together. The starting core aren't getting any younger. Rasheed Wallace will be in the last year of his contract, and there's nothing more valuable in the NBA than a big, expiring contract. For that matter, Rip Hamilton's contract is reasonable enough to trade. So championship or not, you have to wonder what this team will look like in 2009.

I know, I know. I'm getting way ahead of myself, but with Stuckey's recent backcourt play,the future is something to ponder.

3. As much as I want to believe the Pistons will leave Detroit next week with a 3-1 stranglehold on this series, I've also been a Pistons fan far too long to deny the the fact they could quite easily, and maybe quite likely, mail in a game. A game that sends us fans off the deep end, as in their disturbing loss to Philly in the 1st round. I went WAAAY off the deep end after that debacle.

But you couldn't blame me, as we've seen too many of those mail-ins over the years. Which is why I fully expect a dud this weekend. It's how the Pistons roll...

Answering Jayson Stark's Detroit Tigers rumblings & grumblings: 4 questions that won't go away edition

Mike pointed me towards Jayson Stark's latest "Rumblings & Grumblings" column at the 4 letter, as he talks Tigers within. Stark brings up 4 questions that not only we Tigers fans have been asking, but those around the nation as well. I can't say much for his answers, as they are on the flippant side, so I'll give it a shot...

Q: Why aren't they playing Brandon Inge at third, considering what a massive defensive upgrade he is over either Carlos Guillen or Miguel Cabrera?

Stark: Sheffield's presence in the DH hole makes that impossible.

Big Al: Short answer? Inge is hitting all of .233. (Thanks to 3 hits over the past 2 games, raising his average from .221) That's why.

Long answer? This is a bigger issue than Sheffield's presence blocking the Tigers' maneuverability. Though it hasn't helped...

I'm fine with Inge playing 3rd as a late inning replacement, or to rest Carlos Guillen. But Inge is also a career .240 hitter whose power stats have been steadily tracking down since his big 2006 season. Excellent glove or not, you can't have his impotent bat as your long-term solution at 3rd base.

There's also the fact Inge is likely the Tigers starting catcher in 2009. His bat may not be up to 3rd base standards, but it is definitely tolerable as your catcher. He's the Tigers only backup to Pudge Rodriguez,

Let's not forget Guillen has been asked to move defensively (From SS, to 1B, to 3B) around the diamond twice within a year. His bat is very important ingredient to the Tigers long-term success. He's a team leader, and has moved willingly when asked. Hasn't he been jerked around enough? At least for this season?

This will sort itself out after the season, with Guillen possibly becoming a DH, if Gary Sheffield shows he can no longer compete at the MLB level. The Tigers can survive the season with Guillen are 3rd.

Q: Isn't it time to consider releasing Gary Sheffield and DHing Cabrera?

Stark:They're not ready to shred the $24 million or so they still owe Sheffield through next year.

Big Al: From Stark's mouth to Dave Dombrowski's ears.

The roar from the Detroit fanbase want the Tigers' brass to DL Sheffield is deafening. Though Sheff may be having the last laugh, as he's raised his average 22 points over the past 2 games, to a robust .202! (Trust me, .202 sure seems robust the way Sheffield has been struggling.) The Tigers can't continue to bat 3rd in the order a Sheffield who's doing battle with the Mendoza Line. (With the Mendoza Line winning)

Though in today's win, we saw why Sheffield can be so valuable, when healthy. With 3 hits, a walk and 2 runs, he played a very big part in igniting the Tigers offense. He also scored from 1st base on a Magglio Ordonez double, dodging the tag at home thanks to a marvelous slide, scoring the Tigers first run. He was dead to rights, the throw arrived ahead of him, yet still beat the tag. It was vintage Gary Sheffield.

But 2 games does not a turnaround make. As much as the fans and MSM would like to see Sheffield on the DL, as Stark says, the Tigers have 24 million reasons to try and get Sheffield straightened out. The Tigers ability to salvage this season may depend on it.

As for Cabrera, I'm perfectly fine with his playing 1st base. There's no need to make a 25 year old kid a full-time DH. For that matter, he's shown to be a much better 1st baseman than Guillen was, and seems to be taking to his new position quite well. We all realized Cabrera was a 1st sacker waiting to happen when the Tigers traded for him, it just happened sooner than most expected.

Leave well enough alone, Cabrera is the Tigers 1st baseman for the next several years.

Q: What are they going to do with Dontrelle Willis, who still hasn't solved his control crisis during his rehab outings?

Stark: Good question.

Big Al: Hell if I know...

Much like the Sheffield situation, the Tigers have 29 million reasons to get the D-Train untracked. I'm still surprised the Tigers actually went so far as to not put Willis in the rotation. I honestly thought they would bite the bullet, see if Willis could settle down as a starter, and move Armando Galarraga to the bullpen.

Obviously, the Tigers thought it too risky, knowing Willis was not ready to step back in the rotation. They had little choice but to place the D-Train in the pen. Thus making him the highest paid mop up man in the universe. It's about all they can do. They'll hope and pray Willis can figure out his control issues in low leverage situations, in blowouts or when a starter gets knocked out of the box.

If you know of a better solution, I'd like to hear it. So would the Tigers...

Q: Is there any chance they'll trade a guy like Jeremy Bonderman to fill other holes?

Stark: Bonderman doesn't appear available, but they'll undoubtedly get asked about him between now and July 31.

Big Al: Stark's kidding, right? National writers are actually taking this to be a serious question? Like this could actually happen?

Let's quickly look at the Tigers rotation....

Kenny Rogers is doing the best he can, but appears to be running on fumes. I don't see coming back in 2009. Who knows what will happen with Dontrelle Willis, as we discussed above. The D-Train is more than a question mark, he's the proverbial riddle wrapped in a mystery surrounded by an enigma. Nate Robertson is what he is, a bulldog type, your typical innings eating .500 pitcher. Then there's the untouchable Justin Verlander.

So why would you entertain any trade involving Jeremy Bonderman, when 2 of your starters are big time question marks, and a 3rd is league average, at best? Seriously, why?

The Tigers were built specifically to go for it all in 2008 and 2009. They'll ride the rapids with what they have, as they really don't have a choice. That includes keeping Bonderman.

Tigers batting stances through history: The best thing you'll see all day!

Meet You Tube's Batting Stance Guy. His channel is nothing but batting stances. Seriously.

Here's his take on Detroit Tigers past and present...



He does damn well, I have to admit I giggled through the whole thing. Batting Stance Guy has it all down, from Placido Ploanco's flipping the bat back and forth to Sweet Lou Whitaker's flexing his back before stepping into the box. I have only one issue. Johnny B. Wockenfuss' stance was not nearly closed enough!

Just another reason why the internet is a wonderful thing...

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: I don’t wanna hear any weak shit from Jason Grilli edition

The shit hit the fan in Tigerdom yesterday. Jim Leyland went off like Mt. Vesuvius in regard to players insinuating to the media there are locker room issues. The Tigers responded to Leyland scorching the earth with 12 runs, and a relatively easy win.

Sounds as good a time as any to answer some burning questions. I don't need to go in what the topics will be, do I? Didn't think so...

Yesterday, in front of the assembled media, the Marlboro Man launched a profane tirade in response to an extremely unflattering USA Today article, with Jason Grilli as the McPaper's star witness. Grilli called the Tigers locker room "stale and stagnant." Think there is any truth to Grilli's accusations?

There's no way of truly knowing, but you have to wonder if something's rotten in Denmark Detroit. Be it locker room strife, an inability to handle pressure, or just a bad personality mix, there's a reason the Tigers seem so damn lifeless. I seriously doubt the loss of "The Mayor," Sean Casey is as big a deal as Grilli made it out to be, but something's been missing all season.

It's interesting that it took a national writer, Bob Nightengale, to shine a spotlight on the Tigers' (supposed) locker room issues. He doesn't have to face the team on a daily basis, unlike the beat guys, Were those issues overstated by Nightengale? Possibly, but the statement by Carlos Guillen about the pressure of expectations being unfair was extremely disturbing. If he's voicing it, and Guillen is an acknowledged team leader, other Tigers likely feel the same way.

Going into a season with the belief there's too much pressure to win isn't exactly confidence inspiring, to say he very least. It's as if the Tigers are already preparing excuses to be at the ready, in case they don't make the playoffs.

Was Leyland's response appropriate?

As long as you aren't offended by extreme profanity, sure. It was also hysterical! "I don’t wanna hear any weak shit from Jason Grilli!" Comedy gold, Jerry! Classic Jim Leyland! It'll just add to his cult hero status.

Sure, it was funny. But will it help?

The Tigers should be extremely embarrassed over their record. Up until last night's win, the Tigers had the worst record in the AL. Nothing Leyland had done to this point has been able to jump start a seemingly clueless Tigers team. Switching positions, juggling the batting order, cutting Jacque Jones, bringing up young players from Toledo, the verbal dressing down behind closed doors 3 weeks ago, none if it has worked, at least not for the long-term.

It was time Leyland said something other than "I don't know." This Tigers team has been scuffling along, lethargic as all Hell, and needed a swift kick in the ass. It was also well past time to publicly call out some under performing and divisive players.

Such as?

Gary Sheffield, for one. Brandon Inge, for another.

When Leyland went off about players "popping off" who are "hitting .200 and .220 and striking out or hitting .200 and .215," and Sheffield and Inge were quoted in Nightengale's article while being absolutely awful at the plate, well, you can add 2+2 together.

The Tigers have coddled Inge since the Miguel Cabrera trade, while all he did was bitch up a storm about wanting a trade all winter. Big talk from a player who would have trouble hitting in a slow pitch softball league. In the famous words of Dave Dombrowski, "You try and trade him!"

As for Sheffield, he continues to insist he can work through his shoulder pain, though all evidence points to the contrary, specifically his .180 average. He doesn't want and/or refuses to go on the DL, to the detriment of the team as a whole. Sheffield shouldn't be saying much of anything to anyone, when he can do little more than hit 10 hoppers to the left side of the infield. As Leyland said in his tirade, "Look in the mirror."

Now what?

Much like Leyland's now famous blow up in April 2006, which lit a season long fire under the Tigers' collective asses, we won't know if this tirade will go down in Detroit legend for quite some time. Last night was a good sign, but just that, a sign. One game does not a season make.

We'll have to wait and see if last night's win, with the Tiger bats pounding Mariners' pitching for 17 hits and 12 runs, was an aberration, or the start of a turnaround.

Will there be a turnaround?

If I knew, I wouldn't be telling you guys. I'd be in Vegas, betting the farm. But I hope so. I sincerely hope so.

I HATE the Celtics! Always have, always will

Tonight, the Pistons take on the team that once filled me with dread. A team that gave me nightmares. A team I despised with my entire being. A team I hated HATED HATED!

The "Axis of EVIL!"

That team is the Boston Celtics.

Actually, I should change that to HATE the Celtics, as I never stopped. I no longer fear them, they don't give me nightmares, but I sure as all Hell will always despise them.

Back in the very early days of TWFE, in the first month of it's existence, I posted a list of Detroit's 10 most hated teams and players. The Celtics were high on that list.

3. The Boston Celtics starting lineup of the mid-late 80's - Was there a more hated bunch than that Celtics crew? The most unlikable team ever. They still stick in my craw. Danny Ainge might have been the most annoying player I've ever seen. Dennis Johnson might have been the ugliest player I've ever seen. Who can forget Robert Parrish sucker punching Bill Laimbeer with unmitigated malice? Larry Legend talking trash while draining circus shots. Kevin McHale looked like Lurch but his battles with Rick Mahorn were legendary. Every time the Bird steal gets replayed, I turn the channel. I still can't bear to watch... Both teams and their fans wished the depths of Hell upon each other. A honorable mention goes to the despicable Tommy Heinsohn, you could feel his love for the Celtics during those CBS broadcasts.

Yeah, I still hold a grudge.

I still refuse to watch Bird stealing that God damn pass. I still think Parrish should have gotten a long suspension rather than the 1 game hand slap the NBA gave him for his sucker punching Laimbeer (Could you see something so viciously blatant being swept under the rug today?). I still believe the Pistons would have beaten the Celtics in 1987 if Adrian Dantley and Vinnie Johnson don't knock each other silly diving for a loose ball.

I'm thrilled the rathole called the Boston Garden was demolished. I'm happy as Hell the Celtics have not won a thing since beating the Pistons in '87. They were as relevant as the Detroit Lions for the past 2 decades. I love the fact the Pistons were the team that finished that Celtics team for good.

I'm thrilled that Danny Ainge and Larry Bird have been utter failures as NBA GM's. (Though I will admit to having a soft spot for Ainge, as his incompetence allowed the Pistons to get Rasheed Wallace for next to nothing. Pistons fans are eternally grateful.)

We've been battered about the head and face for the entire NBA season with Celtics this, and Celtics that. Which is why it couldn't be more fitting for the Pistons to be the team that finishes off the NBA's designated "IT" team, ESPN's favored child, the MSM's flavor of the month, the '07-'08 Celtics. The Pistons win this series, all will be right in the world.

I have only this to say about the Eastern Conference finals...

Screw the fucking Celtics!

USA Today: Tigers have a 'Stale and stagnant' atmosphere

As I'm running Bless You Boys for the next couple of weeks, I'll be cross posting most of my Tigers writing between blogs. Just letting everyone know! On to the latest on the disappointing team in sports...

In today's McPaper, MLB writer Bob Nightengale visits our struggling Detroit Tigers. He gets more than his fair share of money quotes. Here's the Tigers' fearless leader, the Marlboro Man.

"I'm embarrassed. We all are," Leyland says. "I really can't believe this is happening, to be honest with you. "I'm not going to throw any players under the bus, but at the same tine, I'm not going to b———- them either. You have to tell it like it is. "And we have played h————. I say we, not them, because I'm responsible."

As you can obviously tell, Leyland ain't happy. Neither is the team. The most relevant player quotes follow.

Brandon Inge:

"We used to pride ourselves on beating those high-dollar teams," says utility man Brandon Inge, who lost his starting third-base job after Cabrera's arrival. "We wanted it more. We played hard. We hustled. We ran everything out. We fought for nine innings. "Now we're that team we used to beat. I don't want to get into it, but it's just different now."

Gary Sheffield:

"It's so relaxed in here," says Sheffield, who is hitting .189 with two home runs and eight RBI as he struggles with right shoulder pain. "I don't know if that means that we don't have a killer instinct or we're just a real loose team. I've never seen anything like it."

Nightengale also notices the Tigers have a strange lack of...something. Chemistry maybe?

Sheffield looks around the clubhouse. It is two hours before game time against the Arizona Diamondbacks, and video is being shown of Dan Haren, the opposing pitcher. No one is watching.

And a lack of unity...

The Tigers managed to show team unity one game last weekend when they took Renteria's suggestion and hiked up their socks, even playing music before the game. The Tigers won. Yet instead of repeating the ritual the next day, Ordonez and left fielder Marcus Thames played with their pants low, and the music was off.

I know these are little things, but when taken as a whole, it really makes you wonder about the Tigers. Where is the urgency? Where is the fire? Where's the team whose motto once was "9 innings?"

Nightengale also spoke with the traded Jason Grilli. After self- aggrandizing himself by claiming he and Sean Casey were a big reason for the once good chemistry in the room, he does say something quite pertinent.

"Talent-wise on paper, that is one of the greatest teams assembled, but the atmosphere was stale and stagnant. You kept losing, losing and losing, and everybody became distant. I have good friends over there, and I feel badly for them."

"Stale and stagnant" is as good a way of describing this Tiger team as any. In fact, a quote from one of the acknowledged team leaders, Carlos Guillen, comes across as making excuses for their poor play. The problem? There was too much pressure!

"We never said we were going to win 100 games," Guillen says. "All we said was that we have a good team with good players. That was the (sports) media and fans doing the talking. "You don't win games looking good on paper. You've got to do it on the field. "That wasn't fair to us."

I'm sorry, but the pressure of expectations comes with the territory of being a highly paid player on a big market franchise. If Guillen thinks this is pressure in Detroit, try playing in New York or Boston. The Tigers would have been pilloried by now in those markets.

Fair or not, when you are being paid millions to play a game, there are going to be expectations. Big time expectations. To complain about it just comes off as whining.

So if you read between the lines, I think we can safely infer the following...

• Leyland has no answers.


• Inge is saying the Tigers no longer work hard and hustle.


• Sheffield doesn't see an urgent need to win.


• Grilli believes there's a very bad locker room mix.


• Guillen whines there's far too much pressure on the Tigers to win.

From reading this article, you can't help but conclude the Tigers are broken. Badly, and maybe irreparably, broken. Something needs to change, and change soon. Unfortunately, no one seems to know what that "something" is.

Leyland meets Dombrowski: Will it be a "Come to Jesus" type meeting?

The Tigers are on an off day, back home after one of the ugliest road trips in memory. Getting swept by the Royals, and losing 2 of 3 to the D-Backs have apparently brought the Tigers' issues to a head.

Word from the Marlboro Man is he and Dave Dombrowski will meet today, and...Well, this is straight from the Cigarette Smoking Man's mouth, as quoted in the Freep.

"We have a lot of issues to deal with right now," Leyland said. "That's why I'm meeting with Dave. I'll be able to clear some stuff up, hopefully, in the near future. We've got a lot of issues to address."

Umm...yeah. The Tigers are the worst team in the American League for a reason. They've earned that distinction by playing awful all around baseball. I'll say there's several "issues" to address...

Gary Sheffield: Since that fateful day in 2007 when Sheffield collided with Placido Polanco, re-injuring his shoulder, he's hit .170, with no power. Even though Sheffield is owed $28 million through 2009, it's time to either cut bait, or put him on ice.

I've been as big of a supporter of Sheffield as anyone in Tigerdom. He's a marvelous ballplayer, when healthy. The caveat being he hasn't been healthy for going on 10 months. Everything the Tigers have done to try and kick start Sheffield, cortisone shots in the shoulder, moving him down in the order, regulating his playing time, none of it has worked.

Playing Sheffield in left field, a move obviously made in desperation, was the final straw. As he can't play in the field, his value to the Tigers is totally dependent upon his bat. When that bat can't deliver anything more than a .190 BA, it means Sheffield has absolutely no value. He can't stay in the lineup.

It's time to place Sheffield on the DL, preferably the 60 day DL, and determine once and for all if the final year of his contract can be salvaged. If not, then give him his outright release.

Playing the youngsters: Matt Joyce has become the Tigers sole source of home run power since being called up after the release of Jacque Jones. Ryan Raburn can play all over the field, much like Brandon Inge, but is a much better hitter. All Raburn has done during his call ups in '07 and '08 is play well, both in the field, and at the plate.

There's an obvious left field platoon under Leyland's nose with Joyce and Raburn. Somehow, someway, they need to get on the field. How that can be accomplished (Sheffield to the DL duh!) may be something that is discussed during today's meeting of the baseball minds.

One thing also worth mentioning, and it may be discussed today. The Tigers have a few kids in Toledo tearing up the International League with their power stats. Namely Mike Hessman, Mike Holliman,and Jeff Larish. All could help the suddenly powerless Tigers.

Armando Galarraga & Dontrelle Willis: Donterlle Willis has finished his injury rehab. Armando Galarraga, brought up from Toledo to take the D-Train's vacated spot in the rotation, has been the Tigers' best starter over the past month. The Tigers have 6 starting pitchers, while only needing 5.

Willis is being paid $29 million for 3 seasons, so no matter what fans want, he's going to be in the rotation. Period. End of discussion.

So what to do with Galarraga? He deserves to stay in the rotation. But he's the only starting pitcher who's not being paid a boatload of cash. The contracts, and for that matter, track records, of Kenny Rogers, Nate Robertson, Jeremy Bonderman, Justin Verlander and Willis will keep them in the rotation. Again, end of discussion.

The question remains, what to you do with Galarraga, who's clearly out pitched his much more highly paid teammates? Do the Tigers send him down to Toledo, so he continues to pitch every 5th day? Move him to the bullpen, requiring someone else, likely one of the righties in the pen, to be sent down?

What will Leyland and Dombrowski decide? Your guess is as good as mine...

Carlos Guillen: He's a DH waiting to happen. Make it happen.

OK, that may be a knee-jerk thought, but Guillen's defense is becoming an increasing sore spot for fans, MSM and the Tigers alike. His bat demands keep him as healthy as possible. His contract demands you you play him as much as possible. How that is done (be it playing 1st base, 3rd base or as DH) needs to be determined, then set in stone.

Sheffield to the DL opens up several options regarding Guillen, specifically the DH one. you have to believe it's being discussed...

Brandon Inge: There's plenty of questions surrounding Inge as well. If Sheffield is benched/on the DL/released, would Guillen move to DH, and replaced at 3rd by Inge? As good as his glove is at 3rd base, Inge's bat (.221 BA, .696 OPS) just won't allow it. Not on an everyday basis, anyway. Is he going to be the full time catcher in 2009? His lack of offensive punch is more tolerable as a catcher.

The fate of Inge is another that could be affected by the Sheffield domino falling.

A change in the coaching staff: You know it has to be discussed. Both Chuck Hernandez and Lloyd McClendon may be on the hot seat. If Mike Ilitch is looking for a fall guy, hoping to shake things up, replacing the pitching or hitting coach would be a likely scenario. You can't fire the players. Coaches, on the other hand...

This is something Leyland may put his foot down on, and refuse to do. Draw the proverbial line in the sand. Which could lead to...

The future of Jim Leyland: You have to at least wonder what's going through Leyland's head. All we've heard from the Marlboro Man as of late is that he's at a loss. He doesn't have the answers. He doesn't know what else to do.

He sounds like a man at his wits end.

The meeting with Dombrowski could be of the "Come to Jesus" type. Leyland may be given an ultimatum. Things need to change, and change soon, or else.

I honestly doubt this would happen, but no one saw such a collapse by the Tigers coming either.

I'm a blogging temp!

If you haven't been reading Bless You Boys, well...You should be. Ian has a great Tigers blog over at SB Nation, and it should be one of your daily stops/in your feed reader/go to blog for all things Detroit Tigers.

Ian is leaving the US for a couple of weeks to visit his parent's homeland, and asked if I could guest post at ByB while he was walking the earth. How could I turn him down?

Along with Mike McClary of The Daily Fungo, I'll be writing about Tigers, and hanging out in the game threads (which I'd be doing anyway) for the next 2 weeks at ByB.

Of course, I'll still be posting here and at SLR, but please feel free to stop on by ByB, and say hey!

EVERYBODY PANIC!!! - The cards are on the table edition

I've tried to remain level headed about the Tigers' abysmal start. Honestly, I've tried. Getting swept by the Royals in totally mundane, run-of-the-mill fashion was the final straw. After 6 weeks of being witness to bad hitting, awful pitching, and even worse defense, I've come to a decision.

It's time to panic!

This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. We are at DEFCON 1.

All is not well with the Tigers. The season is inexorably slipping away. They aren't just in last place in the central, they have the 4th worst record in all of baseball, 2nd worst in the American League. This team is broken, and I'm not sure if it can be fixed.

The Tigers are currently a BAD team. I don't see what they can do to pull out of this, as all their cards have been played. Let's run through the deck...

Release a player? Jacque Jones was waived. Hasn't helped, other than allowing Matt Joyce and Ryan Raburn to get some playing time.

Bring up help from the minors? Armando Galarraga helped stabilize a struggling rotation, Ryan Raburn has been productive in limited action, Matt Joyce has been the Tigers only source of home run power for the past 2 weeks, and Clete Thomas filled in ably while Curtis Granderson was injured. The young players have done their part, the veterans, on the other hand...

A clubhouse blowup? Jim Leyland went off like an H-Bomb a couple of weeks ago. It gave them a very short term lift, but they have now backslid. This is one card you can't go to very often, as the layers will end up tuning you out.

Lineup change? Carlos Guillen is now a 3rd baseman. Miguel Cabrera is a 1st baseman. Gary Sheffield was moved down in the order. Left field is now filled via committee. It really hasn't done much other than improve the defense slightly. Offensively, Guillen has cooled after his fast start, Cabrera is in a massive slump, Sheffield can barely swing a bat, and production in left has improved, but it wasn't the Tigers' biggest issue to begin with.

Bench a player? Other than Gary Sheffield becoming a part time player (And his health being a black cloud over the Tigers), who would you sit? Seriously, who would you bench? There is no one to bench. Not with a roster full of current and past All-Stars, all making big money. The Tigers have to play who they have, and hope for the best.

Play more small ball? Please. Small ball is overrated. You don't give up outs, playing for 1 run at a time, when you have a team struggling at the plate. For that matter, you don't play small ball when you have a lineup of historically .300 hitting smashers. The Tigers need to hit home runs to win. It was true in 2006, and remains true today.

A trade? Out of the question for the time being. The trade deadline is 10 weeks away. Even worse, the Tigers are full of players with either little value to another team, saddled with an untradable contract, or a combination thereof. For example, Sheffield has literally no value to other teams with his shoulder issues, and his contract is massive, with 1 more year left.

Fire a coach or coaches? Even with the calls for pitching coach Chuck Hernandez's head, it won't happen. Leyland would walk first. Would it make a difference anyway?

Fire the manager? I think Leyland would resign before Dave Dombrowski would ever give his manager the ziggy. The only wild card in this being Mike Ilitch. He cannot be happy right now, paying $138 million for a last place team. He may demand someone be held accountable. You can't fire the players, so...

So what's left? After going through the cards already laid, it appears there's none left to play. To continue the allusion, the Tigers only hope may be a wild card (I'm not talking about THE wild card, as the playoffs are the last thing on my mind). What that card might be, I have no idea.

As to what the Tigers can do at this point of the season, there really isn't much. We knew back in December what the roster was going to be. We also knew the Tigers had gone all in, win or go bust.

I hate to say it, yet I've had to say it repeatedly, the Tigers have what they have. Period. Unfortunately, we have to face the facts the Tigers may have a losing hand, and are unable to bluff their way out of it. As we are now 6 weeks into the season, with 25% of the games played, the Tigers will have to play their hand through to the end, and hope to catch a few breaks.

It's time to panic in Detroit.

I have a question for the Tigers' front office...

Jim Leyland announced before tonight's loss Gary Sheffield would no longer play in the outfield.

"His shoulder isn’t right, and I don’t think it’s made any better by playing the outfield, because he can barely lob the ball in," Tigers manager Jim Leyland said today. "So I don’t think that makes any sense."

So my question to the Tigers brass is as follows...

If Sheffield's "shoulder isn't right" and "he can barely lob the ball in," why on earth isn't he on the DL?!

Common sense tells me if your shoulder is so God damn sore you can't throw a baseball, it is also going to affect you when swinging the bat. Am I right?

It's obvious Sheffield isn't 100%, hasn't been for quite some time, and won't be any time soon. Yet the Tigers continue to live in denial, hoping Sheffield's shoulder, and with it, his bat, will come around. He's had multiple cortisone shots, to little effect. It's mid May. The season is 1/4 over. Sheffield's average is barely over the Mendoza Line.

The shoulder is not coming around.

The Tigers have enough problems being 8 games under .500, and falling. Sheffield playing through his shoulder pain is only adding to them.

I'm sick and tired of watching Sheffield ground weakly to short. It's time to sit his ass down, put him on the DL, and get his shoulder healthy. Don't bring Sheffield back till he's proven in a rehab stint he can hit like we know he can.

A healthy Sheffield is a weapon, capable of carrying the Tigers offensively. Right now, he's nothing more than a liability.

Answering the Detroit Tigers burning questions: Hernandez on the hot seat edition

Unlike the other 2 Detroit teams still playing, the Tigers aren't playing like title contenders, and continue to lose. In fact, they are finding new and creative ways to lose, if last night's loss is any indication.

Edgar Renteria's ill advised attempt to make ESPN's web gems, which ultimately allowed the winning run to score, is the latest loss to leave Tigers fans scratching their heads, wondering "What the Hell?" This entire season has been one long "what the Hell?"

With losses piling up, and the season being 25% over after tonight's game, the fans are getting restless. More correctly, they are getting pissed off. We are beginning to hear rumblings that some coaching staff blood must be spilled. Something, anything, that might light a fire underneath an underachieving team.

Will coaches get the ax? Let's answer some burning questions, and read the smoke signals..

Jim Leyland defended his coaching staff, and more specifically, pitching coach Chuck Hernandez, to the media, amidst the cries for heads to roll from an increasingly anxious fanbase. Should the Tigers give the ziggy to a coach or two?

If you believe the message boards, where most of the knee-jerk calls for blood seem to be coming from, the Tigers need to can both Hernandez and hitting coach Lloyd McClendon immediately, if not sooner. (The fact former Braves pitching guru Leo Mazzone is looking for work has not gone unnoticed by fans) The Marlboro Man would never do such a thing, as he's not the type to bow under to any outside pressure, be it from the MSM or the fanbase .

There will be no one fired during the season. I'm confident in that assessment.

After the season? If the Tigers don't live up to expectations, I don't think anyone would be surprised if coaching staff changes are made. Someone is going to have to fall on the proverbial sword if the Tigers fail to make the playoffs, as it won't be Jim Leyland, or any players, for that matter.

Leyland isn't in hot water? How can that be?

Dave Dombrowski would never give Leyland the ziggy. No way, no how.

They go back too far, and have accomplished far too much as a tandem, for Dombrowski to ever broom Leyland. The Tigers' manager has his quirks (Batting Pudge leadoff, the odd love for any no-hit, good field players named Perez), but he is still considered one of the best managers in baseball.

The better question would be, could Leyland just walk away?

OK, I'll ask that question! Would Leyland walk away from the Tigers at the end of the 2008 season?

If nothing changes, and the Tigers struggle all season, I can't see Leyland leaving Detroit on such a down note. Though I wouldn't put it past him, as he has done it before, after his one season in Colorado. I do believe if he did decide to leave money on the table (I honestly think Dombrowski would keep Leyland in smokes for as long as he wanted to stay manager), it would be after next season. There was a reason Leyland agreed to only a 2 year extension after the end of the '07 season, even though Dombrowski would have been more than happy to lock him for 5+ years.

Leyland's not a long term guy, unlike a Sparky Anderson. He's older, has a title, a life away from baseball and probably all the cash he'll ever need. If Leyland believes he can no longer cut it, or can't get through to the team, he won't hang around. If this season is any indication, you do have to wonder...

After 39 games, the Tigers are 16-23. Sparky Anderson was fond of saying you can't judge a team till it's played 40 games. So what's your judgment?

Uh, the Tigers suck? It's being blunt, but it's also true.

The numbers don't lie, and neither do the standings. They say the Tigers are a last place team. They have earned that distinction, it's not an accident. Detroit is a bad team right now. What could go wrong, did go wrong.

Such as?

That's easy, as it begins and ends with the starting pitching. It's been awful. Christ, awful is an understatement. They've been putrid. If not for the emergence of Armando Galarraga, the rotation would be in a total shambles.

Kenny Rogers has pulled out of his tailspin, even if his ERA doesn't show it, pitching very well in his last 3 starts. But the younger arms, the pitchers the Tigers have pinned both their present, and future, upon? Their tailspin has turned into a death spiral.

Justin Verlander, Jeremy Bonderman, Nate Robertson and Dontrelle Willis (Who just gave up 5 runs in 5 innings in his last rehab start) are a combined 4-14, all with sky high ERA's. (Bonderman's is the lowest, at 4.80. The other 3 are over 6.00) That will get you cut in little league, God forbid the major leagues.

It sure won't cut it over the next few seasons either, as those 4 will be part of the Tigers' rotation till 2010.

It won't matter if the bats do come alive (Which I still think they will), and score a 1000 runs. With their ugly starting pitching, 2000 runs wouldn't be enough.

So what can the Tigers do?

Nothing.

Nothing? You can't be serious!

I'm as serious as Leyland takes smoking. Serious enough for you?

As I said, 4/5 of the Tigers' rotation is set for the next few years. They've signed the contracts, they are the Tigers' rotation, for better or worse. So they can't do much of anything, other than hoping their rotation pitches to their capabilities. You run them out there every 5th day, cross your fingers and hope for the best.

In regard to the rotation, the Tigers have made their bed, and ow have to lay in it. Picked their poison. Made long-term commitments. Locked them up, and thrown away the key.

What the Tigers have, is what they have...6.00 ERA be damned.

Pros and cons: Why should Mike Babcock stay in the D?

Sometimes the press asks the most asinine questions. For example, today Mike Babcock was asked if he planned on returning as Red Wings coach after this season.

What? Isn't that the equivalent of asking George Bush if he's going to resign as president in order to take over a smaller, less powerful country? Bill Ford Jr leaving Ford Motor Company to take over Segway?

Mlive's Wings blogger George James Malik says Babcock was diplomatic in his answer, rather than answering the question as most would...

Babcock answered the question with a little more poise than simply saying, "DUH"

"Duh" indeed.

"I'll punch out the next dumb ass who asks if I'm leaving Detroit!
Any more stupid questions?"

I figured such a silly ass question deserved the pro and con treatment, just to make sure Babcock was making the right decision remaining the Red Wings point man.

Pro: He's coaching 3 of the top 10, arguably 3 of the top 5, hockey players in the world, Pavel Datsuyk, Henrik Zetterberg and Nick Lidstrom.
Con: There's a con to coaching the most talented team in the NHL?

Pro: The Red Wings have the best scouting organization in the NHL, mining gems in the later rounds. There's also the fact free agents want to play in to Detroit, and the Wings' own free agents don't want to leave, giving a hometown discount when signing their deal. In other words, the Wings don't rebuild, they reload.
Con: What con?

Pro: If you are going to coach hockey in the US, is there a better hockey job than coaching the New York Yankees of the NHL, America's hockey team (Thanks to Michigan ex-pats being all over the nation), the Detroit Red Wings? No.
Con: Can't think of one.

Pro: The Red Wings are one of the most tradition laded franchises in all of sports, from being an Original Six team, to octopus throwing.
Con: You risk getting hit with an slimy 8 legged critter every May and June.

Pro: The red Wings organization is committed to winning, no matter the cost, from the owner on down.
Con: There's pressure to win, and win big. But wouldn't you prefer that, than coaching for a franchise where no one gives a shit? Say Chicago? Florida? Phoenix? Hockey is a rumor in too many NHL cities, but not in Detroit. That wasn't really a con, was it?

Pro: It's the RED WINGS, for chrissakes!
Con: Again, there's a con to coaching the Wings? (Save the "You have to live in Detroit" jab for a blog that thinks Detroit jokes are actually funny. Because this isn't one...)

Not much of a debate, huh? And the MSM wonders why we bloggers make so much fun of them...

I heart 80's music videos

Allow me to take a short break away from sports...

As what tends to happen when I see my youth being co-opted by corporations in order to sell us crap, I have a fit of righteous indignation. What sent me off this time was seeing songs by Meat Loaf and (Can't forget the umlaut) Blue Öyster Cult used in commercials.

I know you've seen the ads, as they seem to be in heavy rotation. I'm talking "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" being used to pimp Go Phones, and "Godzilla" shilling for Auto Trader.

(I realize artists have every right to make money off of their labor, and licensing their music as they see fit is commonplace practice in the 21st century. But it still bugs the living Hell out of me. I also realize I come off as a cranky old Grandpa Simpson geezer type bitching about the selling out of rock 'n' roll. But there's still the remnants of an 18 year old lurking beneath the goatee that's beginning to gray, and that 18 year old doesn't like his fave music being used for advertising one bit!

Now you kids git off my lawn!)

Once I survived the commercials, I was suddenly in the mood to see and hear the real thing. I surfed over to You Tube and searched for BÖC. I found "Godzilla," (Warning: Long drum solo alert!) but I also found something even better.

What did I unearth? Maybe the most 80's video I've ever seen. It's oozes 80's. It reeks of 80's. We're talking the early days of music video, where low budgets and odd, incomprehensible or nonexistent plots ruled the day.

This video features BÖC lip syncing while people aimlessly wander around the band, grainy film stock, bad lighting, fog machines, the pointless driving around of old American iron, cheesy fire special effects, inexplicable cuts and lead guitarist/singer Buck Dharma wearing what may be the ugliest shirt I've ever seen.

In my mind, the earnest seriousness of all the nonsense going on just adds to the already high entertainment value of what's one of my favorite 80's tunes.

Without further ado...From 1981, here's Blue Öyster Cult's "Burnin' for You."



Kids, you may not get it, but I'm not ashamed to say we found this sort of thing utterly fascinating back in the day. Hell, I get a big ass smile watching it again today.

They my sell their music to the "Man," but they'll never sell my memories....

There will be no blood

If there is one thing sports talk radio can do, and do well, is beat a dead horse. Beat that horse not only into the ground, but deeper than than the hole Hilary Clinton finds herself in.

Today's dead horse? The Mike Ribeiro slash of Chris Osgood.

Ozzie's attempt to win an Oscar falls on blind referee eyes...

The slash dominated Detroit's airwaves today, to the point I had to turn off the radio. The talk had grown past redundant.

Yes, Ribeiro should have been suspended for using Osgood's chest as batting practice. Yes, Osgood instigated the whole damn thing by purposely clipping Ribeiro with the butt end of his stick. The NHL, in it's infinite lack of wisdom, fined everyone involved, and called it even. So be it, and to tell the truth, we all knew fines were going to result, and nothing more.

There were some callers and hosts who were upset the Wings didn't retaliate immediately, other than wrestling him down to the ice, after Ribeiro laid a two-hander on Osgood. Personally, I think it was smart on the Wings' part to not do something so stupid that could have ended in someone getting suspended. You don't retaliate in the playoffs, you do so in the regular season.

Think back to the Claude Lemieux hit on Kris Draper back in 1996 playoffs. (Hard to believe it was 12 years ago!) It was a much dirtier hit, severely injuring Draper. Rather than do someth8ing futile during the series, the Wings waited almost a YEAR before they finally retaliated.

We all know how well that turned out. Lemieux got beat to a pulp, and the Wings rode the emotion of that March all the way to the Stanley Cup.

As I'm writing this, the Red Wings are up 1-0 on the Stars, and Osgood has been standing on head. That's by far the best revenge.

Winning the series is much more important than the Wings getting their pound of flesh. At least till the '08-'09 regular season, when Ribeiro best have his head on swivel.

During the NHL playoffs, revenge is a dish best served...nest season.

Screw Mitch Albom. Screw him long and hard

In today's Freep, the Little Fella takes Detroit sports fans to task for not filling up the Joe last night.

Before I spend one more word on how good our hockey team played Thursday night, I have to say how bad it looked to see so many empty seats at Joe Louis Arena. Cheaper seats. Expensive seats. Empty clusters. Half-empty rows.

Uh, Mitch. During the playoffs, THERE ARE NO CHEAPER SEATS! Just less overpriced ones...

Remember the Cup? We loved that thing. We felt like we earned it -- every step. So what's the problem now? I know the economy is bad. I'm not telling people to hock the jewelry or find a job.

When you have to use the caveat "I'm not telling you," you actually are telling me...

But we're not talking 100,000 spots here, either. There are enough fans and money in our area to fill those absent clusters. Hey, if we can fill Lions seats, we can fill Red Wings seats.

My response? Fuck you, you heartless, over privileged fuck!

I know, it's not exactly Shakespeare, but "Fuck you" truly encapsulates exactly how I felt after reading Albom's self important tripe.

(By the way, when was the last time Albom was at Ford Field? Otherwise he'd know the expensive club level seating is mostly empty, and the Lions often filled their stadium only in thanks to the fans of the opposition team. You'll see just as many Bears and Packers fans at Ford Field, as fans of the Lions.)

It takes a ton of balls, or what's much more likely, being completely oblivious to the situation the middle class finds itself in here in Michigan, to call out fans for not spending money. What a clueless dumb ass. Just thinking about Albom's faux righteous indignation gets me furious.

I'm guessing Albom, when not churning out Oprah approved pap, spends his time in LA and New York rolling around in large piles of cash. Back here in rust belt reality-land, everyone I know is watching their money. Watching it closely.

I don't know a soul who could afford to drop several hundred dollars to attend a hockey game. Not one. I sure as Hell can't. Neither can anyone in my family, or my friends off or online.

I've used this analogy before, but it remains true. When given a choice between keeping a roof over your head, or buying overpriced Red Wings playoff tickets, there really isn't a choice.

Albom was once tuned into the pulse of Detroit, he knew what made the fans tick. Not anymore. He hasn't for over a decade. Not since Albom became a gasbag ESPN pundit, better known as an author, rather than a sportswriter, and spending most of his time on the left coast.

Otherwise he wouldn't have written this column, calling out hard working folk who are more worried about being foreclosed upon, paying medical bills, buying $4 a gallon gas, food prices rising, if their manufacturing job will even exist 6 months from now, than lining the pockets of a multi-billionaire, Mike Ilitch.

At this point, Albom would be better off sticking to writing saccharine novellas Oprah can turn into TV movies, than being the national voice of the Detroit sports fan. Because he has as much in common with we fans as I do with George W. Bush. That being nothing.

Mitch Albom can go to Hell. Or just stay in LA. Either is better than his remaining the "Voice of Detroit." Speak for whom you really know, the media elite. You sure as fuck don't speak for me.

Edit 4:00 PM: Albom doesn't speak for the Chief over at A2Y, either. IwoCPO went off on the Little Fella too.

Utter domination

Domination.

I could be talking about the Red Wing making the Stars look inept in game 1 of the Western conference finals, 4-1, or the Tigers losing another series, meekly going down to the Red Sox, 5-1.

Talk about polar opposite atmospheres, and teams going in opposite directions.

Over the airwaves, Comerica came off as morgue, while the Joe was electric. The Wings were living up to our expectations, while the Tigers were doing their damnedest to confirm our worst fears. The Red Wings have the look of a champion, the Tigers...I'm not sure, but if something doesn't kick in soon, we'll be calling 2008 a lost season.

The Red Wings have won 7 straight playoff games, playing their best hockey of the season, looking to all the world as the Stanley Cup favorites. I certainly wouldn't bet against them.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the Tigers are playing in a stupor, and showing no sign of shaking out of it. The eyes don't lie. They are well on their way to becoming $138 million busts. I'm getting thisclose to pushing the TWFE panic button. Seriously, thisclose.

There's not much else to say...

Columnists say the darnedest things: Ozzie is the flavor of the day

If you read today's Detroit fish wraps, notice something eerily similar in their sports pages? The lead sports columnists for the Freep and News, Mitch Albom and Bob Wojinowski, essentially wrote the same column! Both decided to wax philosophic over the re-emergence of the Downriver puck bunnies favorite player ever, Chris Osgood.

From reading the columns over, it appears they shared notes. (and forgotten the beat writers have covered this territory quite well, especially when Osgood signed his contract extension. This is just the carpetbagging columnists jumping on the Wings bandwagon when more readers are paying attention to hockey.)

For example...

The Little Fella:

This is a guy who, during the lockout, began to reinvent himself, because he saw younger goalies with more efficient styles. So he worked and reworked and he taught his old dog new tricks, and he is arguably now at the highest level in his career.

Wojo:

No wasted energy, no wasted emotion, no wasted motion. This is the reinvented Osgood, who worked manically with a goaltender coach and refined his style during the 2005 lockout.

I'll admit, both columns are well written, but talk about different, yet the same. It's as if one cribbed from the other, just changing the words. They both diverge somewhat, (Albom, as is his wont, goes highbrow with a "Cinema Paradiso" reference, while Wojo goes more lowbrow for a "Brat Pack" call out) but both columns tread over the same, exact territory. In the end, they both wrote as sappy a column as one of Albom's diabetes causing novels.

Here's the Cliff's Notes version of both columns... (Get out your handkerchiefs!)

Even though Osgood won 2 cup rings during his first tenure, he left the Red Wings in semi-disgrace when Dominik Hasek was signed, spent 3 years in NHL exile, returned to Detroit an older and wiser goalie, then remade his game, leading up to he his having the best statistical season of his career, finally rescuing the Wings during the playoffs. The End.

I expect to see Oprah option this story for her next "uplifting" Albom TV movie.

Next time guys, check your calenders so you don't write the same damn story about the same damn subject on the same damn day.

The worst columnist in America, Rob Parker, continues to amaze with his lack of baseball knowledge. To fix something that really doesn't need fixing, Wobb advocates the Tigers signing...you know who it's gonna be...Barry Bonds.

I'm not going to bother quoting much from the column, as it's worthless. The following 2 lines sum up why Parker thinks the Tigers need to PANIC and sign the large headed one.

They desperately need a left-handed bat in their inconsistent lineup, which has been shut out five times in the first 34 games. Last season, the Tigers were blanked three times.

Over at Mack Avenue Tigers, Kurt takes down Parker in detail, so I'll just say this...

On a team which has 4 players who should play in the field as little as possible (Sheffield, Ordonez, Guillen, Thames), and are much better suited as DH’s (either now, or in the very near future), adding another DH makes zero sense. Less than zero, actually. Even if the DH is a left handed hitter named Barry Bonds.

Despite their struggles, the offense has not been the biggest problem. Not by a long shot. As I said the other day, it's the STARTING PITCHING. Unless Barry Bonds has a decent breaking ball, and can go 7 innings into games from the mound every 5th day, the Tigers don't need him.

The Tigers are quite aware of their need for a left handed bat. That's why Matt Joyce was brought up from Toledo. Sure, he's no Bonds, but the Tigers don't need Bonds. They needed a left handed bat who could also play the outfield. Bonds may be a lot of things, but an outfielder? In the national park sized outfield that's Comerica Park? I don't think so.

Then again, this is coming from Rob Parker, so making sense isn’t expected. From the nature of Parker's opinions, I doubt sense is even encouraged.

By the way, in regard to saying the same thing in different columns, Parker somehow manages to crib from himself. From the always goofy and nonsensical "Foul or Fair" bit with Tom Gage...

They are 0-17 when they've scored four runs or fewer. They've been shut out five times their first 34 games. Last year, they were shut out only three times.

Dude, we get it! No need to tell us twice...